Descriptive letter 1A
Dear Prof. Blackstone,
I hope this email finds you well. I am Xavier Yee a first-year freshman enrolled in Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering at SIT.
My passion for engineering ignited during my first airplane experience as a child, captivated by its graceful maneuvers. This fascination steered me towards Aeronautical Aerospace and Technology at Nanyang Polytechnic. In my studies, I delved into the intricacies of aircraft functions and components, crucial for safe flights. Complementing my academic journey, I interned as a Junior Quality Assurance Engineer at a manufacturing company specializing in OEM parts. In this role, I meticulously inspected components, ensuring they met stringent specifications for quality control. This hands-on experience deepened my understanding of engineering practices beyond the classroom.
In terms of communication strengths and weaknesses, an experience during my studies involved a group project. I demonstrated strength in collaborative communication, contributing various ideas effectively to the group's dynamic and ensuring a positive working environment. Conversely for weakness, I have found that I sometimes struggle to articulate my thought process in writing. For instance, during a research paper in my previous trimester class project, I found myself struggling to organize my ideas and coherently present them.
In upcoming classes, I aim to refine my writing through increased literary engagement, focusing on financial literacy literature like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad." Simultaneously, I aspire to enhance verbal communication by speaking more confidently and organizing my thoughts more effectively for improved peer interactions.
Beyond my academic pursuits, a unique aspect, is my active involvement in Dragon Boat at SIT. This endeavor has strengthened my physical and mental resilience, which instilled in me a sense of discipline and teamwork, and the ability to thrive in a collaborative environment. Thank you for reading, hope you get to know me a little better.
Best Regards,
Xavier Yee
Hi Xavier, my buddy! It nice getting to know more about you even though we are friends haha
ReplyDeleteI like that you used some intricate words such as delved, coherent and even stringement. It fits into the sentence that you are trying to convey. However there are some things that could be improved on such as the phrasing, could be re-written to let the letter flow much better! Aside from that it was nice getting to know you more!
Hello Xavier! Thanks for sharing more about yourself. I enjoy reading your self introduction because you use variety of vocabularies which makes the sentence sound more joyful and impactful. I think you can elaborate more on the sentence "Rich Dad, Poor Dad". Other than that, I feel that your content is good!
ReplyDeleteI hope that you can achieve what you want after this module. Good Luck!
Thank you for your Constructive feedback , likewise hope you receive your desire outcome for this module :)
DeleteHello Xavier!
ReplyDeleteYour academic and internship experiences add a practical dimension to your learning, showcasing a well-rounded approach to your education. Your involvement in Dragon Boat at SIT is a unique and valuable aspect. Hope you can achieve your goals in this module!
Thank you for your valuable feedback , likewise hope you receive your desire outcome for this module :)
DeleteThank you, Xavier, for this detailed letter. In it you effectively address all the key elements of the prompt. It's interesting for us to find out something about your learning journey and your evolving interests. At the same time, you shine light on your comm skills.
ReplyDeleteOne point that you highlight is your "aim to refine my writing through increased literary engagement." When I read the word literary, I think fiction. That's something we don't cover in UCS1001. I do applaud your reading books such as Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and there's ceratinly lots to be gained from doing so.
One other area to take note of in your revisionis the overuse of caps. Do you see where?
Still, you show good fluency in this post. Thanks for the effort. I look forward to reading more form you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you, Professor Blackstone, for your constructive feedback, I will improve on letter writing and keep a lookout on my overuse of caps :)
DeleteGood day Xavier,
ReplyDeleteI value your thorough letter, which skillfully covers all the essential aspects of the prompt. It's captivating to learn about your academic journey and the evolution of your interests. Furthermore, your letter highlights your proficient communication abilities. Concerning the challenge you mentioned regarding articulating thoughts clearly, you may want to consider exploring a basic writing framework known as the "PEEL" structure. As an additional point, I've noticed that you tend to use lengthy sentences. Some of them could be shortened for a more concise and reader-friendly experience.
Look forward to working with you more in class!
Robin
Thank you for your valuable feedback , I will take note and improve via the PEEL Structure during my future writings :)
Delete